Things to Hate About Love
by fudge poptart
Summary: Sora hasn't had a girlfriend in all fifteen years of his life. Riku makes a bet that he can change that. Matchmaking plans and chaos ensue. But Kairi and Sora don't seem to get along. Will Riku have to give up his attempts at playing Cupid?...
1. The Bet

A/N: a sokai story that I'm going to try to make funny. I don't exactly know where this story is going to go. i have a brief idea, but chances are, by the end of this story, it will be completely changed.

Disclaimer: Oh, i wish i owned sweenix...that is what i'd truly like to have....cuz if i owned the company called squeenix...i could make a cutscene of sora in the bathhhhhh.....

* * *

Sora was clueless. No, he was worse than clueless. In all of his fifteen years of existence, he'd never had a girlfriend. Never. He simply didn't associate with the opposite sex unless it was absolutely necessary. It had to be a glitch in his brain or the result of childhood trauma or _something_. No teenage male could avoid the temptation of a female…okay, unless he was gay, but Sora wasn't gay. At least, Riku didn't _think_ he was…

Riku was sitting in study hall, idly passing the time by analyzing Sora's love life—okay, _lack_ of a love life, rather. It just wasn't natural, and Riku couldn't fathom it.

He turned to Roxas, who was sitting at the desk behind him, constructing a paper airplane.

"Why do you think Sora's never had a girlfriend?" he whispered.

Roxas gave him a bewildered look and asked, "Where the heck did _that_ question come from?"

Riku shrugged. "I don't know. It just occurred to me that he's never dated."

Roxas crunched up his paper airplane and began doodling on the crumpled paper instead. (He was obviously as bored as Riku. Study halls weren't exactly invigorating.) "Maybe he just doesn't like mushy romantic stuff," he suggested.

"I bet it's because he doesn't know how to act around girls," Riku thought out loud. "He's probably—"

"_Ahem_," the study hall teacher, Mrs. Kancy, said sternly. "Is there something you boys would like to share with the rest of the class?"

"No," Riku said quickly.

Mrs. Kancy raised an eyebrow and then looked back down at her newspaper. That had been her silent warning.

Riku waited a moment before turning back to Roxas. He whispered very quietly under his breath, "I think we should set him up with someone."

Roxas snorted as if that was the most preposterous idea he'd ever heard. "And who would his 'lucky' girl be?" he asked, a mocking tone obvious in his voice.

"Um…" Riku looked around the room for potential candidates. Selphie…Aerith…Larxene (no way!)…Kairi…Penelo… Wait! _Kairi_. She was sporting a light blue khaki skirt and a blue tank top, he hair in a simple ponytail. She was reading a thin novel with her legs crossed under her desk. Hm, she was cute. Maybe Sora would find her to his taste?

Riku leaned back towards Roxas's desk. "Is Kairi single?" he asked curiously.

Roxas raised his eyebrow. "Sora and Kairi? Fat chance of that happening. They've got nothing in common."

"How do you know that?"

"Because Kairi is my girlfriend's best friend. Trust me, I know. They're not compatible." Riku could hear the hint of aggravation in Roxas's voice. He apparently didn't think Sora + girlfriend = a good equation. Sora didn't exactly fit a girl's ideal, but still… The owner of Playboy wasn't exactly a vision in spandex, but he still had girls all around him. So why couldn't Sora do the same?

And Riku's mind was set. He would hook up Kairi and Sora—he absolutely would! His pathetic best friend would no longer remain single. He'd make sure of that!

"I bet you 30 munny I can get them together," he told Roxas. He glanced up for a second to make sure Mrs. Kancy was still absorbed in her newspaper. Then he added with a sly grin, "Deal?"

Roxas scribbled out a doodle he'd drawn, and then he sat quietly for a moment. Finally, he whispered decisively, "Deal."

And the bet was made. Riku smiled mischievously This was _war_. Roxas was going down, and Sora was going to take a trip down the dating highway.

Now, where to start?…

* * *

A/N: Short first chapter. the next one will probably be longer. i think. i hope. maybe...

i don't think 30 munny is a whole lot, but i also don't think guys their age should be carrying around huge wads of cash. 30 munny is enough to get them a potion or something, yes?

Reviews appreciated. :)


	2. A Plan Developed Over Egg Salads

A/N: Hullooooo, chapter two is out. =]

sorry if my writing is…um, lacking. i'm a lazy writer, and i don't take writing fanfics very seriously, so if there's lots of really choppy places and mistakes, that's pretty much to be expected.

this chapter is short, just like the last one. i think this whole story is going to be made up of short chapters.

Disclaimer: kh isn't mine. nope. if it was, the new games would be out in america already!!!! =/

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**Chapter Two**

Step one: the dramatic first encounter.

Step two: love at first sight.

Step three: dating.

Step four: 30 munny in Riku's wallet.

That was Riku's genius master plan. It had a few kinks here and there, but other than that, he was positive it would work. Kairi and Sora wouldn't know what hit 'em.

But first…how would he get them to "coincidentally" bump into each other somewhere? Hm, this was going to take some elaborate scheming…

* * *

Utter, ultimate, intensely non-intense _boredom_. That was the best way to describe school. It was sooooo dull. Why did Sora care that Gregor Mendolla—or whatever his name was—was the father of genetics? Why did he need to know that _calcetín_ was Spanish for _sock_?! He'd rather be sword-fighting with Tidus on the islands. Hell, he'd rather be doing chores. _Anything _was better than this torturous place.

Sora's eyes followed the clock hands. Tick-tock-tick… Time seemed to be creeping along ever so slowly… These last twenty minutes before lunch were dragging slower than his mother without caffeine.

Then, at long last, the bell rang. The teacher, who'd been lecturing the entire time, blinked in surprise. "Oh, how time flies!" he marveled. "Well, I suppose you may leave." Several people shouted out in sheer relief. "But do the questions on page 114 please!" The class groaned. So much for freedom.

Sora lugged his books back to his locker. Thank _god_ the school day was nearly finished. He was eager to go home and play video games. That was his usual schedule: school, home (or detention, depending on the day), couch, video games, fridge, bed, repeat. Occasionally, he'd venture out to the island and race Riku or doodle in the musty cave. His days were simple and pleasant, just the way he liked them. And he wasn't about to let anything change that.

Sora tossed his books into his locker, shoving them in with his foot to make sure they'd stay atop the mess of other textbooks, random homework assignments he'd long forgotten, and empty snack bags. Then he grabbed some change for lunch and headed to the cafeteria.

He spotted his friends at their usual table almost instantly. Riku and Tidus were bartering their egg salads to underclassmen, and Roxas was sitting at the far end of the table with his girlfriend, Naminé. Ever since he'd started dating her, Roxas'd become pretty elusive. His time for playing video games was cut in half, and he was actually spending some weekends—Dare he say it?—_shopping_. (*shudder*) Girls had strange effects on guys.

Sora sat down next to Riku, stole a few of his grapes, and said, "They're _still_ dating?" He pointed to Roxas and Naminé (or the "lovesick brigade", as he called them).

Tidus shrugged. "Seems like it… Hey! Get back here with my egg salad, you punk!"  
As Tidus tore off after the underclassmen who stole his precious lunch, Sora continued to gripe about his friend who was now 'lost to the darkness.' "He is totally different, man. He doesn't hang out with us as much, and he kisses, and—"

"Sounds to me like you're just jealous," Riku said with a mischievous, unabashed grin (which would have looked a lot more convincing if he hadn't had a piece of egg sticking out of his mouth).

Sora stared. "No way," he denied instantly. "I _don't _want to date. It's just wrong." Riku was crazy for even suggesting the idea! "Maybe _you_ like it, since you've got girls surrounding you all the time, but I am fine just the way I am."

Riku smirked mysteriously. Sora glared.

Tidus returned to the table, his egg salad crushed and seeping from the sides. It was in a pretty sorry state. And Tidus was none too happy about it. "Stupid Freshmen, thinking they own the school…" he grumbled under his breath.

Sora seized this opportunity to change the subject. "Want my lunch money? I'm not really hungry today."

Tidus accepted the offer graciously. "Thanks. Anyway, did you hear about Mrs. Lander's test today? I heard it's terrible."

Riku shrugged. Being a grade above them, he had already dealt with Mrs. Lander's evilness and was beyond that horrible chapter of his life.

Unfortunately, Tidus and Sora weren't. "We have a test today?" Sora said dumbly.

"Yeah," Tidus said, ignoring Sora's obliviousness. "And not just any test—a guaranteed grade-dropping one."

Gulp. With report cards being sent home next week, Sora _really_ needed to keep his grades up. His parents were getting pretty strict about them, and he didn't exactly want to get grounded. If he failed his test, he might as well go home and tell his parents, "Oh, won't you please ground me? How about for two weeks? Or maybe longer. I can stay in my room staring blankly at the wall for a month!"

He would be sure to skip that period today.

"The test isn't that bad," Naminé cut in. Oh, so the love brigade decided to jump into the conversation. "I took it third period. It's fine as long as you studied for it."

Study? What foreign language was that word in?

"I don't think I did too well…" Roxas said miserably.

Naminé smiled and assured him, "Oh, I'm sure you did fine. We studied together yesterday after school, right?" Gag. Now they were _studying _together?

Discussing studying wasn't exactly fun, but the conversation wasn't taking any new directions. "I changed my mind. I am hungry," Sora said suddenly, standing up from the table and digging in his pocket for some extra change. It wasn't a lie, either. Now that Sora saw Tidus enjoying his egg salad, Sora decided that the school's food didn't look _that_ bad today. And maybe by the time he got his lunch, the conversation would have turned over a new leaf.

* * *

Riku watched as Sora headed towards the cafeteria line, and then he seized his opportunity to set his plan in motion. He turned to Naminé and asked, "When does that study hall group begin?"

Naminé answered simply, "After school. There's one today and tomorrow. Why?"

_Perfect_. Riku was certain that if Naminé went to these groups, then Kairi was sure to be there, too. This was probably the best option for Riku to get Sora and Kairi to meet. "Me and Sora are going to be there today," Riku said decisively.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "_You_? And _Sora_?" he said incredulously.

* * *

"_You_? And _me_?" Sora said in disbelief. "Um, Riku...are you nuts?"

Seriously, a _study group_? Since when did Riku study?! And why had he invited Sora along? This had to be a joke. Nothing about it made sense. Sora knew for a fact that 1, Riku rarely participated in any activity remotely involving learning; 2, Riku hated the study hall teacher, who monitered the study group; and 3, Riku didn't even have a test coming up. (Sora did, only because he'd skipped Mrs. Landers's class that day.) Now not only Roxas was going crazy, but Riku was joining in!

Riku grinned. "Hey, I figured this could be a good opportunity to give our grades a boost. Especially yours, Mr. Failing."

"You're not exactly an _A_ student either, you know!" Sora retorted. "Besides, I really don't think a lame study group will do any good. I'm not going."

After all, why should he go? Riku had invited him along without taking into consideration that Sora would never go to something like that. He made sure to assert himself clearly--He. Was. Not. Going. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

Riku's grin deepened. "Actually, you are." He pulled out his car keys. "_I _drove us to school today, and _I'm_ going to the study group, which means you've either got to take the noisy, clunky school bus or go to the study group."

Okay, Sora was going to the study group. But just this one time!

* * *

A/N: and now I won't be updating for three months! nah, just kidding.

i had trouble with the whole "switching POVs" thing. i kept wanting riku's thoughts to be heard while it was in sora's POV, and vice versa. sighhh.... anyway, the next chapter's story should be pretty easy to figure out. riku's sure that the whole thing'll be cakewalk. sora is going to make sure its anything _but_ that. maybe I should let roxas win the bet, just to teach riku to rein in that ego of his?

anyway-----------next chapter, the "fateful first encounter" for Kairi and Sora. except i wouldn't exactly call it wonderful...or even good-------------


	3. The Key Incident

A/N: Sora finally meets Kairi. Not exactly a match made in heaven. Riku might want to recall that bet of his....

Basically, in this chapter, you find out just how much Sora doesn't like girls.

Disclaimer: Hm. Nope. Still not mine.

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**Chapter Three**

Here he was, room 103, and he was already regretting it. The study hall teacher, Mrs. Kancy, kept glaring at him, adding to his discomfort. (Apparently, she hadn't forgotten about some of his rule-bending endeavors of the past.) Sora really just wanted to go home and take a nap. Or play video games. Or something.

So why the heck was he sitting here at a study group again?

Naminé and Roxas were already comfortably sitting across from him, pulling their textbook out of their book bags, preparing to go over Newton's Law or transitive verbs or god knows what. Sora was disgusted. Riku wasn't there yet, making Sora wonder if he'd skipped out on the study group. Yeah, that was it--he'd invited them there as a joke, and he had already gone home, leaving Sora to suffer! He was probably at home watching TV, laughing at how gullible Sora was. Jerk.

"Hi, I'm here," Riku announced, coming through the doorway.

Or not.

He sat down next to Sora and pulled out a math worksheet. He started working dutifully on it. This surprised both Sora and Mrs. Kancy.

A few minutes passed. Sora stared at the textbook that was open in front of him, not really absorbing anything he was reading. There was some article about endangered Chocobos, but it was as bland and boring as the History Channel. His eyes followed the words on the page absentmindedly, but really, his brain was focused on something else--the clock. As usual, it was crawling along as slow as possible. How much longer until this was over? Five minutes into it, and Sora was already bored senseless.

"Where's Kairi?" Naminé whispered suddenly. "She's late."

Roxas shrugged. "I'll go look for her if you want."

Hm, Kairi. Where had Sora heard that name before? Oh, yes--wasn't that the name of a girl in his geometry class? He could vaguely picture a girl with auburn hair and blue-violet eyes. So she was a member of this dull, geeky group, too?

Roxas was about to leave to look for this girl when Riku cut in with, "Hey, why don't you have Sora look for her instead?"

_Huh_?

Roxas seemed just as taken aback by this proposal as Sora was. "Um, why? Does he even know who she is?"

Riku paused a moment, as if thinking, and then said, "Well...you guys are really working hard on that homework, and Sora's just kind of sitting there drooling." Well_, excuse _him for being bored out of his mind. And he was not drooling! (Still, he wiped his mouth on his sleeve just to make sure.) "So I figured Sora should do it instead," Riku finished.

Actually, Sora thought, the suggestion wasn't too bad. It would get him out of this awful room for a while, at least. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll do it."

And with that, he hurried out of the room as fast as he could. He was free! Free at last! Thank God almighty, he was free at last!

He decided to take his time looking for this Kairi girl. He walked casually around the school hallways, not even really looking for her. The air out here seemed much less stuffy than it was in room 103...or maybe that was just Sora's imagination? Either way, he was really glad to be out of that dreadful room. No droning textbook, no lagging clock, no evil looks from Mrs. Kancy...

Sora could faintly hear a song playing around the corner. It must be one of the janitors, he figured. He peeked past the wall and saw, as he had predicted, one of the janitors sweeping the floor with headphones on, swaying to the beat of some pop song. Mischief nudged him on, and he couldn't resist the temptation to do something faceticious. The janitor turned down another hallway with a broom and dustpan, whistling as he walked. He left the vacuum behind.

Sora immediately thought of how funny it would be if he tore a whole in the vacuum bag. When the janitor went to turn it on...poof! A grin spread across his face just thinking about it. The study group was boring as hell, and Kairi was nowhere in sight. So why not? Just one little tear wouldn't do too much. He took his keychain out of his pocket and picked a random key. That would be sharp enough to...

"What are you doing?"

Sora jumped and whipped around. The janitor--?! No, it was a girl. Phew...for a second there, he thought he was busted... "Just messing with the janitor a little. What's it to you?" he said nonchalantly.

The girl's eyes widened in realization. "Why are you--! You're going to break the bag open, aren't you? Those things aren't cheap, you know. What's the matter with you??"

Sora rolled his eyes. This chick sounded like his mother. Honestly, why couldn't she just leave him to do his pranking in peace? Any time he got bored, he was inclined to do something like this, and it wasn't like this was the worst thing he'd ever done. (His neighbor's now-hairless cat could agree with that statement.) She was just another one of those goody-goody rule abiding students. Yuck.

"Look, the janitor will be back any minute. So can you just get lost?" Sora said crossly.

The girl put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. "Not until you put that key away. You're a jerk, you know that?"

_Better than being a teacher's pet_, Sora wanted to retort. But he bit the comment back. Maybe if he ignored her, she'd leave?

Nope. The girl scowled stubbornly and approached Sora, yanking the key out of his hand. "Give me that--!" Sora yelled. He reached to grab it from her, but failed miserably. Instead, he tripped over the vacuum cord and fell over, taking Kairi down beneath him.

"Oof!"

"Ouch, watch where you--"

Sora was so close to Kairi's face that he could feel her breath. He stared into her violet-blue eyes for a few seconds, and then it hit him--he knew this girl. This was Kairi! He'd seen her a few times in his geometry class. She was, not surprisingly, a diligent student who was always setting the class curve with _A_s. So she was the one he was supposed to be bringing to that lame study group. He'd thought that studying in that room couldn't get any worse, but if this girl was a part of it...well, yeah, it had just gotten worse.

"Get off of me, you pervert!" Kairi screeched, shoving Sora off of her, inadvertently jabbing him with his house key.

"Oww--watch where you aim that thing! And who are you calling a pervert?! Who would want to do stuff with you?!!"

Kairi's cheeks flushed with anger. She chucked the key at Sora, crying out, "Jerk!"

Sora ducked and narrowly dodged the key's projection. Whew, that was close. The key had almost hit him right in the chin! What was Kairi _thinking_? Was she trying to stab him in the eye or something? Thank Kingdom Hearts it'd missed!... Unfortunately, though, it did manage to hit another target, albeit unintentionally. It flew across the hallway, and then--WHUNK!

"What--the devil--are you kids--_doin'?!_" a voice thundered from across the hallway. It was the janitor, who was covering his eye and holding Sora's house key. He didn't look too happy.

Sora and Kairi glanced at each other. "Are you satisfied now, Miss. Goody-Goody-with-a-Temper?" Sora hissed. "You hit him in the eye!"

Kairi glared. "_Me_? I wasn't the one who was trying to break his vacuum!"

"That was a prank! You just can't take a joke--"

"Some joke! It was pretty stupid, if you ask me, you big moron--"

"Well, ex_cuse _me for not getting straight _A_s in school! If you ask me, you're just a stuck-up--"

"_**SHUT UP!**_" the janitor bellowed. His voice echoed in the halls. Sora and Kairi jumped in surprise. Well, he was royally pissed off. "I dunno what's goin' on here, but obviously, you kids were up t'no good. I'm gonna have a word with the principal 'bout this! Now y'get outta here!"

They didn't need to be told twice. They scampered out of that hallway as if they were trying to outrun a foaming mad dog. Sora finally slowed his pace when he reached room 103. He walked in and took a few deep breaths, Kairi following close behind him.

"I, uh...found her," he said when Roxas and the others noticed his presence.

"What took you so long?" Riku asked curiously, an eyebrow raised.

Kairi opened her mouth to speak, but Sora cut her off. "I...dropped my house key," he lied.

Kairi glared at him and sat down at a desk. She unzipped a backpack pocket, pulled out a textbook, and got to work, cooly ignoring him. Sora sighed with annoyance. Fine, if she was going to be that way, so be it. At least she was less irritating with her mouth shut. He sat down in a chair and grabbed a textbook, too, but unlike Kairi, who was already scribbling away feverishly on a homework assignment, Sora sat there uselessly and stared blankly at the pages stretched before him. This was going to be a loooooong study group.

* * *

A/N: Great first impressions of each other, no? Haha. I wasn't 'zactly sure how this chapter was gonna unfold, but I guess it's not so bad. Sorry so short, as usual... -_-'' I'm just too lazy to write more. anyway, finally some action! yayz! and if they think they're in the clear for that whole key-flinging incident...*chuckes*

Welllllp, reviews appreciated! See ya next chapter~!


	4. Opposites Don't Aways Attract

Disclaimer: *sighhhh* I don't own KH or characters affiliated with it. Believe me--if I did, you'd know it. There'd be more Riku and Zexy and Xigbar!!! *fangirlish squee* *tee hee, shirtless Rikuuu....*

A/N: What is the matter with me today? I'm sorry...I think I'm slightly mentally insane this afternoon.

This is a bit random, but if any of you are looking for an ammmmazing manga to read, try Nurarihyon No Mago. it's about a kid who's 3/4 human, 1/4 demon. and it's super dooper awesome!! it's updated weekly on mangafox and onemanga. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out--shoo! shoo! it's the current holder of my adoration--along with KH, of course. =)

* * *

Riku frowned. Something was majorly wrong here. Sora had brought Kairi back (taking a suspiciously long time to do so), but they looked like...like they _despised_ each other. Uh-oh. He glanced in Roxas's direction. Luckily, Mr. Attached-to-his-Girlfriend was too busy studying to notice Riku's anxiety. But oh, man--this was bad. Riku's plan was crumbling to pieces. It's not like he didn't have the money to give to Roxas; he just didn't want to hurt his pride in losing the bet.

No worries. He just had to be smooth, get a good conversation going. Then they'd open up to each other slowly but surely. But...what to talk about? He glanced around the room as he wracked his brain for a decent conversation topic. "Nice weather today," he blurted out.

Wow. _Great _conversation that would start. Riku practically wanted to slap himself in the face. _Why _couldn't he have come up with something at least partly intelligent?

Luckily, Kairi bought into it. "Yeah, well, it _is_ springtime. There's usually good weather this time of year."

Riku glanced in Sora's direction. He was absentmindedly tapping a pencil on his desk, (probably pretending to be) absorbed in reading a section in his textbook. He was clearly ignoring their discussion.

"Hey, Sora," Riku said, forcing him to get involved, "wanna go to the beach on Saturday? I mean, the weather's perfect for it." His diabolical plotting had begun again. Invite Roxas to the beach as well...Roxas brings Namine along...Kairi tags along, too...Sora sees her in a bathing suit...falls in love instantly...Riku wins the bet.

If only it could be that easy. "No," Sora stated plainly. "I have to work this weekend."

Kairi raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "_You_? Work?"

Damn. Well, that plan was dissolving faster than it had been formulated. Riku frowned. This was more difficult than he thought it would be. Sure, Sora was stubborn, but he was still a _guy_. He had to be attracted to her body, at least...

The rest of the study session consisted of awkward silences, arguments, and Riku trying out new plans with no success. It hadn't been the most pleasant meeting in the world, that was for sure. The angry static between Sora and Kairi was so strong it could practically be felt. The entire time, they sat across from each other, either completely ignoring one another or dishing out cold glares. This was not looking good--not at all.

* * *

Thank Kingdom Hearts that whole study thing was over with. Sora didn't know how much more of it he could have taken. That stupid chick, Kairi, was driving him up a wall! She criticized everything, and she was such a goody two shoes. How irritating. What a total she-demon.

Now, he sat through another torturous afternoon of school, wishing it was over with his eyes practically attached to the clock. Why must it always go so slow? Tick...tick...tick... He wished he could just grab a remote control, press fast forward, and find himself at home in the comfort of his bedroom with a video game controller in hand. Unfortunately, he was going to spend even more time at school than he anticipated.

"Sora Minoru, Kairi Manami--please report to the guidance office." Um...what??

Sora scuffed his feet as he walked out the door of the classroom. He was thankful to be out of that stuffy place, but he was not looking forward to going to the guidance office with Kairi. He had a very good idea of why they had been called there, too. Gulp.

The guidance counselor was an old woman with short, curly gray hair and square glasses. Her face was permanently wrinkled from her ever-lasting frown. The woman's name was Miss. Petlulant, and boy, was that a suitable thing to call her. The old bat was never in a good mood, always complaining about ill-mannered students and rule-breakers. Sora had seen Miss. Petulant too many times to count. The woman abhored him.

He stepped foot in the office and sat in a chair, waiting impatiently. Whatever punishment awaited him, he wanted to get it over with. He'd seen it all in the past--detention, in-school suspension, you name it. The only thing he hadn't been was expelled, and that was a miracle as far as his mother was concerned. But Sora never caused any _real _trouble; he never got in fights or cussed out teachers or cheated on tests (okay, he _did_ do the latter, but he never got caught). Most of his punishments came from childish pranks and the like.

Kairi came through the door soon after him, her face pale. She had probably never been called to the office before. Tch. Goody-goody. She glanced at Sora, then scowled when their eyes met. Apparently, she thought this was all _his _fault. Well, if she hadn't gone and made a fuss about the whole incident, they never wouldv'e gotten caught by the janitor in the first place. So it was _her _fault!

He crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring Kairi's presence. Instead, he listened to several office workers gossiping about some teacher's wig. How long was this going to take? Not like he minded missing class, but he was sitting next to a she-demon that he really wished he could be far away from--as far away as possible.

After what seemed like an hour, Miss. Petlulant opened her office door and let them in, her signature frown still glowering as usual. "I suppose you thought the disruption yesterday was funny." She got right down to the point.

Kairi stared down at her sneakers, abashed. Sora vaguely heard what she said. He had become quite skilled and tuning out her lectures.

Miss. Grumpmeister continued. "Kairi, your record has been clean in the past, so I don't know what happened, but I'm guessing it had a lot to do with _him_." She peered at Sora through her glasses, her lips pursed.

Kairi stood up and defended herself. "It _was_ him! He was trying to pull a stupid prank, and I--"

"_You _whacked the janitor with a key," Sora cut in.

Kairi clenched her fists, her anger reaching dangerous levels. "Ex_cuse _me? I was trying to help him, while you--"

"You shouldn't have butted in!"

"You should've been a little mature for once in your life!"

"Why? So I can be stuck-up like y--"

"_Enough_!" Miss. Petlulant snapped. "Since the two of you can't agree on what happened, I'm issuing you both detentions. And I want a written apology to the janitor."

"But--" Kairi looked horrified. The very thought of a detention on her perfectly clean record petrified her. Sora, on the other hand, was surprised he got off so easily. Just one detention? And a letter? He could handle that. It was far more lenient than his usual punishments, probably because Kairi was involved.

"That is all. Go back to class." End of discussion. Miss. Petlulant shooed them out and called in her next unlucky guest, a frequent visior named Seifer who was well-known for his blatant disregard of school rules. Sora just felt to relieved to be out of that place.

He looked at his freshly filled out detention slip. "Hm, it's today after school," he observed. "Damn, I really wanted to get leveled up enough to beat that boss. Oh, well." He was upset that he had no time for video games now, but at least the discipline was mild. He considered himself lucky, really.

"What am I going to do?" Kairi moaned. "Mom is gonna kill me. And how am I going to get a ride home from school today? Oh..." Switching right from her self-pitying act to infuriation. "You!" she yelled, pointing her finger towards his chest as if it was a dagger. "You're responsible for causing all this!"

Sora shrugged. "Not really. If you hadn't shown up, I wouldn't have gotten busted."

"If I hadn't shown up, you would have mutilated that vaccum cleaner bag!"

The two continued to bicker like miffed siblings, the argument going in circles. Kairi was getting more ticked off with every retaliation, and Sora was getting annoyed as well. Seriously, what was wrong with this chick? She was acting like it was the end of the world because of one minor detention. She needed to get a grip.

* * *

"We getting together after school to play _Vanquish II_?" Riku asked.

Sora slumped his shoulders. "Nope," he said simply while chewing on his ham sandwich. "Detention."

Riku raised his eyebrow. This wasn't a surprising development. "Wow, what'd you do this time?"

"I pissed off a she-demon," he grumbled.

Huh? Sora was in an unusual bad mood. It was lunch time, and typically during this period, his buddy was chipper and talkative. Even when he got detentions (which was pretty often), he scarcely acted like this. Generally, he'd brush it off like it was nothing, just an extra hour in school to snooze.

"Yo, what's bothering you?" Tidus asked, noticing Sora's foul mood as well.

Sora muttered something under his breath that sounded like a swear word, and then he responded, "That stupid Kairi girl." He then went on to explain what had occurred, vividly describing her unrelenting temper and lame goody-goody behavior.

Riku's heart sank. She was bothering him this badly? Maybe that bet he made wasn't such a good idea. It was turning out to be a disaster. Kairi and Sora were complete opposites, and they obviously couldn't stand each other. Goodbye, munny.

No, he couldn't think like that! If he assumed he was going to lose, then he surely would. He had to get himself together--concoct another scheme to pair them up, force them to have feelings for each other, _something_. Maybe he could blackmail Sora into going on a date with her. (It had potential....) No matter what, he couldn't give up. There was still a chance--

"I _hate_ her! I just want to duct tape her mouth shut and--"

--Okay, it was hopeless. There was no way they could ever have positive feelings towards one another, let alone love each other. Maybe it really was time for him to give up. No more Cupid antics. Riku sipped on his chocolate milk, somewhat depressed. He looked at Roxas, who was talking to Namine, oblivious of the fact that he'd set Riku up for an impossible task. Kairi was a teacher's pet who liked getting _A_s and going shopping. Sora was a troublemaker who liked catching science experiments on fire and playing video games. It just wasn't meant to wor...

*Bing!* A sudden epiphany came to him. Oh, yes, it was beautiful. Totally flawless. He knew something about Kairi that would no doubt catch Sora's attention. Riku the Matchmaker was back in action yet again!

* * *

A/N: Don't quit yet, Riku! =)

I was kinda bored with everyone making Sora's last name Hikari, so I changed it up a little. I guess Minoru means 'truth' in Japanese. As for Kairi's made-up last name, I used Manami, which means 'love, affection' and 'sea, ocean.' Let me know what you think of them.

Sorry for any spelling errors in this chapter--I didn't have a spell check when I was writing it.

Review~und ich werde dich danken!!


	5. Double Busted

Disclaimer: KH ain't mine. The end.

A/N: Enjoi~! I guess Kairi's nickname is officially "she-demon" now. Heh heh.

As I write this, it becomes clearer and clearer just how opposing their personalities really are. lol. Kairi's a no-nonsense, by-the-book girl who strives to please others. Sora's a goofy troublemaker who doesn't think of consequences or take things seriously. They clash horribly! It's so fun to pair them together.

This chapter's a bit longer than usual.

* * *

The regulars were all present--Seifer, Hayner, Vaan, Pete...all of the typical troublemakers. Sora, another established visitor, was also there. But one person was there that _no one _would have anticipated--Kairi. As she stepped through the door, all eyes were on her. They all shared the same thought: _what the hey is she doing here?!_ It defied the laws of everything they knew, seeing a good student like her in the detention room. It just wasn't logical.

"Why are _you_ here?" Seifer asked bluntly. When he wanted to know something, he tended to get straight to the point.

Kairi glared. "None of your business." She sat down and swung her book bag off her shoulder, unzipped it, and pulled out a thick novel. What a boring way to spend a detention. Then again, she was a boring person in general.

Any customary detention resident knew that the detention monitor, Mr. Coma, could hardly be called a supervisor. He was old and practically deaf, and his eyes were seldom open longer than ten minutes. When he wasn't snoozing his time away, he was reading the newspaper. Either way, he couldn't hear well at all, so even if the kids slipped out of the room or knocked something over, he wouldn't notice. Shouting was practically the only thing that reached his ears anymore. He was probably the worst detention monitor Sora'd ever met, but hey, he wasn't complaining. Detentions were never dull when Mr. Coma was in charge.

"So, as soon as Mr. Coma conks out, how 'bout we head to the computer room and play some online games?" Hayner suggested.

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Lame," he said, faking a yawn. "I say we sneak out and head to Speedy." Speedy, a gas station, was three minutes from the school on foot, so students often went there after school for junk food and Icees. Gas stations didn't make the greatest hang-out spots, but in their small town, it was about the best there was. It was better than sitting in a stuffy classroom for an hour, at least.

"Let's do it," Sora agreed readily. He loved Speedy's Icees. They were delicious, even if they were mostly ice with just a few drops of flavoring. He could probably live off of them. He even had the perfect technique to maximize the drink's flavor: hold down the lever on cherry for two seconds, raspberry for three, and lemon for one. Then mix the masterpiece together, and you had the perfect blend of Icee goodness. Yum. He could hardly wait to get out of this unventilated, suffocating confinement.

Kairi peeked up from the top edge of the novel. Apparently, she'd been eavesdropping, even though she'd pretended to be ignoring them. "You can't leave," she said sternly. "It's against the rules."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "How do you think we got in here in the first place?" By breaking rules, obviously. There was no way some she-demon goody-goody was going to talk them out of going to the gas station, especially if her argument was that pathetic. Why couldn't she just keep her nose in that book and leave them alone? She'd been doing a great job at it up to this point.

Kairi stood up as if trying to better assert herself. She glared and said, "I'll tell Mr. Coma."

"That old lard? He won't even hear you say it."

"I mean it! I'll tell somebody what you're trying to do!"

She was dead serious, and Sora knew it. She was going to wreck their fun and make them sit in this detention room the entire time? No way! But she'd successfully prevented him from having fun with his prank last time, so he knew she wouldn't hesitate to announce what they were doing to the detention monitor (or worse, the principal). There _had _to be a way to convince her not to blab her mouth about it.

The others were apparently having the same thoughts. "I'll go get some duct tape," Pete suggested. "That'll shut 'er up good!"

Kairi took a step backwards, shielding herself with her zillion-page novel. Yeah, like a book would protect her from five bored guys. Why couldn't she just let them have her fun, for goodness sake?? Girls always had to make things so dang _difficult_. This was exactly why he'd told Riku he didn't want a girlfriend. He liked his life the way it was, simple and fun. Kairi was a perfect reminder of why he didn't like the opposite gender. They just didn't make any sense, and they fretted over stupid little things, like sneaking out of detention to get an Icee. They just _had _to make a big deal out of every little thing.

"Forget the duct tape," Vaan said as he leaned back comfortably, his feet propped up on the desk in front of him. "Why don't we just drag her along with us? That way, if we get in trouble, so does she."

Kairi opened her mouth to object, but nothing came out. Vaan was right--that plan was better than duct tape! They would have to put up with her whining, but at least they'd get out of the dreary detention room. And she couldn't tell on them now, because she was going to be involved, too. Perfect!

"See ya, Mr. Coma!" Seifer called out with a snicker as he grabbed Kairi and carried her out of the room over his shoulder. She was trying to shout out, but he covered her mouth. Not that the old geezer would probably hear it, anyway. From an onlooker's view, it would look like a kidnapping (and in a way, it was), but luckily, no one was around to see it.

Sora laughed as he watched her struggle, her feet flailing around wildly. "Just give it up and enjoy yoursel--_whoa_!" Sora got an eyeful of purple polka dots when she kicked her leg up above his head. Accidental panty shot. Hoo, boy.

Kairi realized that Sora'd seen her panties and squealed. (Thankfully, it was stifled by Seifer's hand over her mouth.) Her face grew hot, and she looked even more peeved than before. She put her hand over the back end of her skirt, as if that would do any good. Now, not only was she upset, but now there was anger and embarrassment to add to that. The she-demon was officially pissed. Sora was also pretty embarrassed. It's not like he'd meant to see her underwear. It really had been her fault to begin with. If she'd have just cooperated in the first place--

"Pervert!" she shouted out. (But because it was muffled, it sounded more like, "er-mert.")

"Hey!" Sora defended. "_You _were the one who showed them off like that!"

Hayner grinned. "Lucky you. What color were they?"

Kairi'd had enough. "Yeowch!" Seifer cried out as she bit his finger. She forced her way out of his grip and stomped on his foot. Sora was surprised she didn't aim higher, at his "jewels." He watched in mild surprise as a skinny, small girl got away from a six-foot muscular guy. Well, that wasn't the prototypical situation. Kairi had quite the powerful temper when you got her riled.

"You--you peeping tom!" she exclaimed, pointing an outstretched finger at Sora fiercely. "Don't you dare tell anyone about this!"

Sora rolled his eyes, trying to hide the blush that still spread across his face. "Hey, you're the one who's wearing that skirt. If it was longer--"

Before Kairi could protest, Seifer lifted her back up, less gently this time. "Alright, you," he said grumpily. "Cooperate, would ya?" She attempted to bite him again, but this time he was better prepared, and his grip on her was tighter. Kairi wasn't flailing around as much, either, because she knew it was futile...or maybe just because she wanted to keep her undies hidden? Either way, the rest of the way outside was rather uneventful. There were several exits in the school building, one of which wasn't guarded by camera. That was the one they chose to utilize, obviously.

"Icee time!" Sora said gleefully.

Kairi stared, incredulous. "Icee?" She still had a stubborn, angry expression on her face.

Sora stared. She didn't know what an Icee was? That was practically a crime! Had she been sheltered her entire life? Dear lord, this girl didn't know what she was missing out on! "Icees are delicious. They're just slushy ice mixed with--"

"I know what they _are_, you twit," Kairi butted in. "I'm just surprised that you guys are breaking the rules for something stupid like that."

Why shouldn't they? Detentions were pointless and dull. Icees were fun and delicious. Vaan apparently thought so, too. "You need to loosen up more," he suggested. "You're way too uptight."

Kairi took that as an insult and once again began to raise a fuss, but Seifer put his hand over her mouth again. Therefore, her shouts were in vain, because they were mostly inaudible. The guys were tired of hearing her whine. If they wanted to get scolded, they'd go to their moms, for goodness sake! Why couldn't she simply enjoy herself and forget about the rules for once?

They walked into the gas station, where they were considered 'regulars.' One of the oldest employees there, a blonde-haired man with a bad back, greeted them from behind the counter. "Hey, how's it goin', everybody? I'm guessing you're here for the usual?"

Sora grinned. "Yep. So you're still working here, Cid? I thought you were going to quit." The man had been grumbling about leaving the job for a long time, but it seemed he was all bark and no bite. He'd been the manager at Speedy for years now. He didn't seem to enjoy it, but he never quit, no matter how often he threatened to. He probably secretly liked the work. It wasn't the most invigorating job, but he knew all the locals on a first name basis, and people stopped in to say hi to him a lot. He probably appreciated the attention, and that was his reason for staying at Speedy.

"Eh, I was going to quit, but I convinced them to give me a raise. So I guess I'll stay here a little longer." Sora knew the raise story was just an excuse, but he didn't make it an issue. Cid was a cool guy, even if he did deny his feelings about his job constantly.

"So, who's the girl?" He glanced at Kairi, who was still slung over Seifer's shoulder. It was a pretty odd sight, so it was no surprise that Cid questioned it.

"Oh, this is..." Hayner blinked.

"Kairi," Sora finished for him. He was the only one who knew the she-demon's name out of this group. Kairi would never hang out with troublemakers like them, at least not willingly. So they had never bothered to learn her name. Sora had known who she was by her appearance, but he had never bothered to remember her name until the recent run-in with the janitor. In the past, he'd just referred to her as "that red-headed girl" or "the goody goody." All of his friends had known who he'd been talking about. Now, he knew her name, but he still preferred to label her with a nickname--"she-demon." It was perfectly suited for her and her secret inner evil. Okay, maybe she wasn't evil, but she drove him nuts, and that had to count for something.

"Oh! Well, hey there, Kairi. I'm Cid."

"Hi," Kairi said bitterly. She didn't even bother to feign cheerfulness.

Cid noticed her sour tone and said, "Hey, Seif! Let her down, would ya? The blood's probably rushing to her head by now."

Seifer obeyed. He still hadn't forgiven her for biting him, though, so he simply let go of her, watching her drop to the ground and land on her butt. She stood up and brushed the dust off her bum, her glare now intensified.

"Hey, be nice to her! Don't you know how to treat a girl?" Cid said, offering Kairi a look of apology.

"_That_ is not a girl," Hayner said. He really didn't have a way with words. If possible, he knew how to tick her off more than Sora did.

Kairi and Hayner started arguing fiercely. Sora was smart enough to stay out of it. He headed towards the Icee machine and created his concoction of "Icee perfection." Then he handed Cid some change and slurped on the straw happily. Kairi still looked angry, but now her lips were sealed. She was super peeved.

Well, he supposed he couldn't really blame her... I mean, they _did _carry her here against her will. She was such a rule-abiding student, so this could ruin her reputation if they got caught (not that they would). She was probably shattered. Sora couldn't help but...well, pity her a little bit. _He _would be in a bad mood, too, if something like this happened to him. They had completely disregarded her opinion, dragged her here, and risked her getting in trouble along with them. She was a snot, but she didn't deserve this. Could he possibly be feeling...guilty?

He sighed. Yeah, they had been pretty mean to her. She wasn't exactly the nicest girl in the world, but still... No way. He wasn't apologizing. Not now. Damn his stupid conscious! It got in the way of everything! He walked hesitantly over to Kairi, who was in the corner of the candy aisle with her hands on her hips. "Um..." he said awkwardly. She looked at him and held her skirt down, as if he was going to look at her undies again. The nerve--!

"I'm not going to look up your skirt!" he said a bit too loudly. Cid and the others turned towards him, eyebrows raised. Grr, forget it. Why should he bother saying sorry to Kairi? Apologizing to the she-demon was completely preposterous.

He let out another frustrated sigh and began to walk away, slurping on his Icee some more. As the last of his guilt evaporated, Kairi said quietly, "Sorry. I know that was an accident. I was just...upset."

Upset was an understatemen--wait, did she just apologize? Great, now Sora felt like a jerk. Still, he just couldn't get himself to utter the words _I'm sorry_. It was just too hard, or perhaps he was just being stubborn? Either way, he couldn't just walk off now that she was deciding to behave like a person rather than a demon. He didn't like her much, but that didn't mean he could act like an insensitive punk around her. He whispered an apology under his breath.

"What did you say?" Kairi asked, her hands now at her sides instead of protecting her skirt.

"Um..." Pause. "Wanna sip?"

"Huh?" Kairi hadn't been expecting that. Then again, neither had Sora. It was one of those things that just come out of your mouth before your mind really processes it.

"Well, uh, Icees are really good. Um, especially the way I make them. Try some." He held his paper cup out to her, feeling like an idiot. She stared for a moment, and Sora was sure she was going to decline and start yelling again. She was probably a germaphobe or something and didn't want to use the same straw that he'd just used. After all, that was kinda...ahem...

Kairi reached out for the straw and tasted it, much to Sora's surprise. He'd just asked her to cover up an apology, but...why did it feel so awkward? "Sorry," he finally mumbled, but he doubted Kairi could hear him.

She simply looked up at him and smiled slightly. "It is good," she admitted. "But...um, can we please go back to the school? Detention is going to end in ten minutes or so, and I don't want to get in any more trouble."

You know, Kairi wasn't so bad once you got past the whole she-demon thing.

They said goodbye to Cid and headed back towards the school building, candy and Icees in hand. As usual, it had been a great detention. And as usual, Mr. Coma was completely oblivious to everythi--

"_BOYS_!" Oh, shit.

The group whipped around in shock. They were in the hallway heading towards the detention room, but there was an unexpected presence there--the principal himself. Double shit. His face was red underneath his mustache, so he was obviously pretty mad. His eyes were narrowed, and his hands were on his hips. His mustache was twitching, which Sora found funny despite the situation. How could someone like him maintain a mustache but have a completely bald head, anyway? One would think that if a man lost the hair on his head, the facial hair would evaporate, too. Maybe his mustache was fake? No, other people he'd seen had no hair but still possessed mustaches. It really was a mystery--

"Where were you?" No reply.

He spewed the usual lecture (that Sora ignored, as always). He asked them repeatedly where they'd gone, but no one offered any information, not even Kairi, which was unexpected. She was full of surprises.

"Fine. Since none of you are cooperating, you'll all receive _double detention_ starting tomorrow!"

"What?!" Kairi cried in disbelief. Three detentions in one week was too much for a goody-goody like her. Sora thought she'd tattle, but still, she kept her lips shut.

The principal turned his attention to her and shook his head in disappointment. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you need to get your act together and stop hanging out with people like..._them_." He cocked his head towards the 'after school detention club.' She looked at her feet in shame, not giving him a response.

After they were released from their prison, Sora was sure that Kairi would start crying or something like that. Girls were emotional, after all, and she was definitely distraught. She looked withdrawn and was in a state of disarray. Oh, boy--she was going to let out the waterworks and make him feel guilty again, he just knew it. He prepared for the worst, ready to sympathize with her and offer his condolences and yadda yadda, just to get her to stop tearing up. He took a deep breath and waited for it.

And waited.

Eventually, she whipped around, her face pale. _Here comes the crying..._ "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!" she screeched. There were no salty tears, no sad expressions. No, she wasn't distressed, she was _pissed_.

And that ignited Sora's anger. "_MY _fault?! How is this my fault?"

"You just _had _to get your Icee, didn't you? You stupid idiot! You--you paramecium!"

Great, now she was insulting him with words that weren't part of his vocabulary. And he'd actually felt bad for her before? Screw that! She was an evil she-demon, and he couldn't stand her. He mentally reiterated: girls were _not _worth the effort!

* * *

A/N: Well, they started to get along a little, but then they had a rebound into wanting to tear each other's guts out again. ^_^; And the Icee thing? Yeah, I added that 'cause I'm addicted to them right now myself! Heh heh.

So, what's Riku's matchmaking plan, anyway? Is there any hope for these two? Review, please!!!!!!


	6. At Xigbar's Pizza Palace

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. But I do own Xigbar's Pizza Palace!

A/N: Two chapters ago, Riku kind of made it sound like Kairi was the one with a "little secret", but really, it's Sora! X) And it's a pretty goofy secret if you ask me. I went POV-changing crazy this chapter. -_-'

For anyone curious about the whole "Xigbar's Pizza Palace" thing... Me and a friend were bored one day and decided to give all of the organization members professions. We were just goofing off, really. Saix somehow ended up a CEO of the company of Heinz Ketchup, Larxene was a convicted murderer, Xaldin became a chef, Xigbar ran a pizza restaurant, etc.... I have no idea where we came up with these things. XD

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

* * *

It was time for Riku's plan to come into action. During the school day, he'd invited Namine, Roxas, and--most importantly--Kairi to Xigbar's Pizza Palace. He'd bribed them by saying, "I'll cover the cost." Kairi had seemed reluctant, muttering something about studying for a test, but luckily, Namine convinced her. They were headed out for pizza!

And now, there was another opportunity to get Kairi and Sora together, because...

* * *

"Riku, what are you doing here?" Sora asked, mildly surprised. He was equipped with a notepad and pen, clad in a black and red uniform, complete with a visor. He wore a black (somewhat stained) apron with pockets, which were loaded with straws and napkins and such. To top it off, he had a square nametag on his chest that read _Hello! My name is Sora._

Usually, when Riku was planning to visit him at work, he'd tell Sora about it in advance in order to bribe a free meal out of him. It was rather unusual for him to show up unannounced like this. Was he scheming some sort of a prank or something...?

Riku shrugged. "I just felt like eating pizza today," he answered simply, but there was underlying mischief in his tone. "Besides, you must get bored just taking orders all the time. I figured I'd...spice things up for you."

Sora raised an eyebrow. "No more free pizza," he asserted flatly. "Last time, it almost got me fired!"

Riku grinned. "Yeah, the manager was ticked, wasn't he?"

Sora closed his eyes, trying to push the memory from his mind. When his boss, Leon, got mad, things tended to get messy. _Very _messy. He could get scarier than Kairi, and that was impressive. When his temper flared, employees smartly shied away from him. But the _really_ frightening thing was his silence; he barely said a word to anyone, preferring instead to glare at them, leaving his thoughts a mystery. Behind his back, rumors spread about the violent ways he could have obtained the long scar on his face. (Everyone was too chicken to ask him to his face.) Generally, the manager was nice enough, but when you got him peeved, you were doomed. And Sora did _not _want to face his rage for a second time.

"Anyway," Riku said, still grinning, "how 'bout four orders of the pizza buffet?"

By habit, Sora hastily began scribbling down the order. It wasn't until a few seconds later that he realized exactly what his friend had said. "Wait, _four_?" he asked suspiciously.

Riku explained casually, "Oh, I'm having some friends join me." Noticing Sora's scowl, he added hurriedly, "And we are paying, of course."

They'd better be. Sora couldn't afford to lose this job. Nowhere else seemed to be willing to hire a goofy fifteen-year-old, and he needed the money to supply his video game fund. How else could he purchase new games and delicious Icees?

Sora jotted down his friend's drink order and scurried off to act as a waiter for another table. He briefly wondered who Riku would be dining with, but he wasn't too concerned about it. Most likely, Riku would just invite the usual crew: Tidus, Hayner, Roxas... Not a big deal. They'd laugh at his uniform, but they always did. Besides, he could turn around and laugh at them every Friday when he attained his paycheck and their wallets were vacant. At work, he had to assume a more serious, diligent role, but as soon as his shift was done, he could be out the door with a nice wad of cash earned.

After a few minutes of letting customers boss him around (not the most enjoyable job), he returned to Riku with a Pepsi. "Here," he said plainly, setting the drink down on a paper coaster. He looked around and observed that Riku's "three friends" weren't there yet. Weird.

"Thanks," Riku said with a nod. He glanced at his watch and then said, "Hey, are you free next weekend?"

Sora raised an eyebrow. That was a random subject to bring up. "Um, yeah. I think so," he said hesitantly. Why did Riku want to know? Hopefully, he didn't have some weird idea in his head again.

Sora recalled some of the _last_ times Riku had asked him if he had any free time. None of them had turned out well. Riku and Sora just had a natural knack for causing trouble. Once, they'd gone out to spray-paint random messages on a local bridge, where they're almost gotten busted by the mayor himself. Another time, they rearranged the entire inventory in a grocery store aisle. They put the green beans where the cereal went, the gummy bears where the chips went...and they'd gotten in a _looooot_ of trouble thanks to the security camera. Yet another time, they tried setting off a bottle rocket in a vase--a really expensive vase that Sora's mom had paid loads of munny for. (What the hell had they been thinking?!) Yeah, they had done plenty of stupid things in the past, and over half of them had begun as Riku's idea. If he had some other new prank to test out, Sora wanted no part of it. He preferred to stay ungrounded for the moment.

"Okay, great," Riku said. "Can you baby-sit my cousin for me again?"

Sora gave a mental sigh of relief. Okay, good, no more stupid pranks. He could handle babysitting. In fact, he _loved_ kids. Riku's four-year-old cousin, Olette, was fun to watch. Plus, he got paid a generous amount by Riku's aunt.

"Sure!" he agreed eagerly. Olette was sweet and obedient, and best of all, she enjoyed watching classic Disney movies. Sora would never tell anyone (except for Riku), but he absolutely adored Disney films. They were cliché, and sometimes even girly, but somehow, he'd just never grown out of watching them. It was his embarrassing little secret.

Riku snorted. As if reading Sora's mind, he said, "Which Disney movie are you two going to watch this time?"

"Hm, maybe Aladdin," Sora suggested. "I haven't seen that movie in a while, and I love the part where..."

* * *

Riku smirked. This was brilliant! Everything was working out perfectly. Sora was rattling on and on about his love for Disney movies. Kind of a strange hobby in Riku's opinion, but Sora was, after all, a strange kid. Besides, his fanaticism for Disney films was going to prove very helpful soon...

"Hey, Riku. Hey, Sora." Roxas and Namine appeared behind them, trying not to snicker at the sight of Sora in a Pizza Palace uniform. (No matter how many times they'd witnessed it, it was always freakin' hilarious.)

"Oh, hi," Sora said with a quick wave. "Uh, what do you two want to drink?"

They told Sora their orders, and then Riku jumped in with, "So, what was that you were saying about The Little Mermaid?"

Sora cocked his head. "What? You seriously want to know?" he asked doubtfully. In the past, Riku had usually shrugged off Sora's Disney fetish, calling it "stupid" and "childish." He hadn't meant to spur Sora's suspicions, but he had to make sure that Sora kept blabbing about King Trito, or whatever his name was.

The other day, Riku'd had a dazzling conception. He had recalled something that he once heard Namine saying to Roxas. It was something along the lines of, "_Kairi isn't going to the study group today, can you believe it? There's this new Disney movie coming out in theaters that she's going to see instead. She's such a Disney freak._" He had brushed it off back then as just some insignificant little conversation they'd had, but now, it was some seriously vital information. He was amazed--and glad--he'd even remembered it. Finally, Riku'd found something Kairi and Sora had in common!

"So, as I was saying," Sora blabbed excitedly, "there's a _penis _on the original cover of The Little Mermaid. The main artist got mad and drew it right in the center of the picture, and no one noticed until it was too late. Isn't that funny?"

While Sora was going on about something or another (Riku had tuned it out, nodding to pretend he was listening), the girl he was waiting for finally arrived. Kairi overheard the conversation and piped up, "Oh, my gosh! I heard about that! Apparently, there's also some rumors saying that in the middle of The Lion King, the word _sex_ appears!"

This was great. Riku had invited Kairi and the others to join him at Xigbar's Pizza Palace, but he'd told her the incorrect time to show up. That way, he'd be able to get Sora on a tangent about Disney crud, and then Kairi would come in several minutes later and hear it, conducting a decent conversation with him without tearing his throat out for once. Even better, she didn't seem to realize that it was _Sora_ in the uniform, so she wasn't holding any grudges against him. This was working out better than he'd planned. He was a genius!

"Oh, yeah, I read about that on the Intern--" Sora turned around to face the girl, and in that moment, they both recognized each other instantly. There was a second of silence as they gathered their wits, utterly taken aback.

"S-Sora? That's you?" Kairi finally managed to say.

Riku grinned. He wasn't a total failure at playing Cupid after all.

* * *

Kairi was bewildered. Why? Well, first off, it was surprising to see Sora in an outfit that wasn't completely goofy and uncoordinated. Secondly, he actually knew a thing or two about Disney. How could a rude troublemaker such as him find sweet, happily-ever-after Disney movies enjoyable? It didn't make sense. Therefore, she was caught totally off-guard.

Sora's face was red, and he quickly denied what he'd said previously. "I only knew about the mermaid thing because there was a penis involved, and I thought it was funny." Now_ that_ made more sense. Boys were immature, especially Sora, so anything about anatomical parts or farting was hilarious in their minds. They never grew up. She had assumed incorrectly; Sora didn't have a love for Disney movies as she did. He was just rattling off about some stupid phallic joke. Idiot.

She was about to comment on how stupid he was when Riku cut in, "What? That's not true. Just a few minutes ago, you were gushing about how much you like Aliddon."

"It's _Aladdin_, moron!" Sora exclaimed.

Kairi saw a smirk cross Riku's face. "Aha!" he said victoriously. "See? You're absolutely _obsessed_ with anything Disney."

"A-am not! Stut up, Riku! Even a dumbbell would know the name of that movie!" By now, it was clear that Sora's denial was pretty lame. He was a bad liar. But Kairi was still astonished with the fact that he could like the movies. He was such an immense jerk, and he just didn't seem like the type to...

"Um, excuse me, where is my pizza?" a man called out angrily to Sora from a nearby table. Sora smacked himself on the forehead and muttered goodbye, trudging back to the kitchen to fulfill an order. Kairi still could scarcely believe he had a job. He was lazy and troublesome, so who would want to employ him? The whole situation had her surprised.

Ignoring her bewilderment, she glanced down at the plastic menu and browsed through the pizza selection. As long as Sora wasn't cooking the food, she was sure it would be safe to eat. She distantly wondered if Riku and the others had already ordered for her, but she looked through the variety of cuisine anyway.

And then her thoughts trailed back to Sora. Did he _really _like Disney movies that much? She herself was openly addicted to the classic Disney stuff, owning a collection of forty or so DVDs labeled with Walt Disney's signature. But it was strange to consider such a doofy, seditious guy sitting in front of the TV to watch a crab sing about the sea. She laughed just imagining it.

She noticed Riku observing her, so she turned to face him. As he was slurping on his soda, he asked, "How would you like to baby-sit my cousin for me this weekend?"

Okaaaaay, that was a random question. Why had he asked her, anyway...?

* * *

A/N: Originally, the similarity between Sora and Kairi was not going to be a mutual love for Disney movies. Instead, both of them were going to like playing video games. I changed my mind at the last minute, though. I thought that this would be a funnier scenario, and it suits them.

Okay, imagine Sora in a waiter uniform. XD Funny, no? Anyhoodles, I don't like the way I wrote this chapter, but I guess it turned out okay. =/ Review ~ _qǐng hé xièxiè!_


	7. Oops

*insert goofy disclaimer here*

A/N: Thanks for all the support thus far! It makes me really happy to know that some people like my dorky little fanfics. =) I already got more reviews than I thought I would...lol. Thanks a bunch, all of you! You digits are zetta awesome!

This chapter is completely in Kairi's POV for some random reason.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Kairi stood on the doorstep of Riku's home, gazing around at her surroundings and thinking, _what am I doing here?_ Riku had spontaneously asked her if she'd baby-sit his cousin. He mentioned that she'd get paid a decent sum, and Kairi's mind floated right to a plaid skirt she'd seen at the mall a few days ago with a steep price tag. At the time, she hadn't had enough munny to purchase it, but with a little bit more... Unwittingly, she agreed to the offer.

She came to regret that decision pretty quickly.

"Hey, Kairi," Riku said, answering the door with a facetious grin. "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit Olette. I'm not very good around little kids, and I made prior plans with someone else today, so..."

Riku's house was large and surprisingly tidy, with pictures of the silver-haired kid and his family decorating the walls. The hallway smelled fragrant like lit incense. Obviously, it was probably Riku's parents who kept the place this clean. Kairi could envision Riku's bedroom in her mind--a smelly disasterpiece, no doubt. Probably the dirtiest room in the whole house. Teenage guys tended to remove "orderly" and "hygienic" from their vocabularies.

"Um, no problem," Kairi replied awkwardly after absorbing her surroundings. Riku had informed her previously that Olette was a very sweet, intelligent little four-year-old, so Kairi couldn't imagine this job being too difficult. Besides, she liked kids. _And_ she'd really like that skirt once she bought it with the babysitting munny.

As soon as she set foot in the nice-sized home and slipped off her shoes, though, the ease of the job dissolved. In another room nearby, she heard a _very_ familiar voice--one that made her blood boil.

"Oh, hold on, Olette. I'm not done cutting the crust yet--" It was Sora.

But why was...? Questions buzzed through Kairi's head. What the heck was that idiot doing here? Riku hadn't mentioned that he was going to do something with Sora today....

Apparently noticing Kairi's disheveled expression, Riku explained to her, "Oh, did I forget to mention that Sora was going to baby-sit her as well?"

Kairi gritted her teeth. _Oh, yeah, you _definitely_ failed to mention that little detail._ Riku still had that stupid grin plastered on his face, which made Kairi suspicious. Surely, Riku knew the two of them hated each other. So why would he arrange for them to work together at something? Kairi'd only run into Sora a few times, but every time she did, it guaranteed trouble. Come to think of it...every time she'd come across Sora, Riku was involved somehow. She began to put two and two together.

Riku'd been the one to invite her to Xigbar's. And he clearly had known that Sora would be there working. He'd also been the one to tell Sora to look for her in the hallway the day of the study group. (Namine told her about that later.) Which meant...he was the one who got them stuck in detention together. And _now_ he was forcing them to baby-sit his cousin side by side? What the hey was he scheming??

"Riku, why do you keep getting me and Sora together?" she questioned bluntly. She let a hint of anger come through her tone.

Riku looked away and laughed. "What are you talking about? Sora always baby-sits Olette, but I thought he could use some help this time. Namine told me you liked hanging out with kids, so I just thought it was a good idea."

"We hate each other."

Riku laughed again and patted Kairi on the back. "Aw, you two can get along. Don't worry about it."

Yeah, sure they could get along. Just as well as vegetarians and hamburgers, maybe.

"Riku, there is no way--"

Riku hastily found the exit and rushed outside, inadvertently slamming the door behind him. He had dodged the situation well. Jerk. "Okay, have fun! Ciao!" he called.

Like hell she'd have fun. This situation had "catastrophe" written all over it.

Sora turned the corner holding a little brunette who was munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Riku, are you leavi--" Now seeing Kairi, he stood there for a moment, his mouth agape. "K-_Kairi_? What are you--"

Kairi sighed and wandered through the hallway a bit before coming to a livingroom. She walked in, plopped onto the couch, and set her purse down beside her. Sora followed behind her like a lost puppy. The girl in his arms, Olette, pointed and asked, "Who's that?"

Sora scratched his head and responded, "Um, her name is Kairi." He looked really vexed, but he tried to hide his confusion for the four-year-old's sake.

Olette's green eyes brightened. "Is she gonna play 'dolls' with me?"

Kairi, meanwhile, was digging through her purse, searching for her cell phone. Why was it that whatever you needed the most urgently always somehow managed to get to the bottom of the bag no matter where you put it initially? Finally, after tunneling through her wallet, various makeup containers, and loose change, she found it.

"What are you doing?" Sora asked. "And more importantly, what are you doing _here_?"

Kairi had begun dialing her home number into the phone, but now she stopped. "Wait, you didn't know I was coming?" she asked curiously. She had assumed that somehow Sora was in on the trick, trying to make her life miserable or something. But if Sora really hadn't known that she was going to be here... That meant Riku was the sole conspirator? Then what was he setting up? What could he possibly gain by putting the two of them together and making their lives dismal?

Sora shrugged. "No. If I knew, I wouldn't have agreed to baby-sit."

Kairi scowled. He could have been a little nicer about the way he'd said that. She didn't exactly want to see him, either, but he didn't have to be so rude about it. Could he be any more boorish, honestly?

"I'm calling my mom," Kairi explained crossly. "Since Riku already left, I can't get a ride from him. So I'll just have her come pick me up."

"Oh."

Silence. Kairi started redialing her number when Sora remarked, "So...Riku asked you to baby-sit, too? That's really strange. Maybe he forgot that he asked me and offered the job to you instead?" _I doubt it_, Kairi thought. His actions seemed pretty intentional from her perspective. What she didn't understand was _why_ he was doing it. How could he possibly benefit from their--

"Oops." Olette suddenly spoke up. Sora had put her down a while ago, and she had been sitting there listening to them...until now.

Kairi groaned. Whenever a toddler says 'oops', it's never a good sign. Plus, a shattering sound had accompanied her exclamation. This didn't bode well.

Ever the responsible babysitter (surprisingly), Sora jumped up and immediately went to analyze the situation. Kairi followed. As she had suspected, the circumstances weren't good. Olette was sitting on the floor in the nearby hallway, and beside her was a collection of broken shards of...something. It had splintered into so many pieces that Kairi couldn't quite identify what was destroyed.

Sora, on the other hand, could. "Oh, shi--" Noticing the four-year-old peering up at him, he stopped mid-cussword. "Um, are you cut anywhere?" he asked, picking her up gently and inspecting her fingers and arms.

Olette was tearing up. "N-no," she sobbed. "Am I in trouble?"

Sora glanced back down at the busted object and sighed. "No, don't worry about it. It's my fault for not watching you carefully. I'll...clean up the mess and then we'll watch Aladdin. How does that sound?"

A smile formed on Olette's tear-stained face, and Kairi couldn't help but feel impressed. Sora really _was_ good with kids. She smirked and thought, _probably because he's such a kid himself._ Still, she was amazed that he could actually act somewhat...well, dependable. It was a trait she'd never expected from him.

"Come on," Sora continued, wiping Olette's damp cheeks. "Let's go get the dustpan. I have a feeling that Riku's mom probably wouldn't appreciate seeing pieces of her glass elephant figurine all over the floor."

Another thing Kairi knew about kids: nature called at the least convenient of times for them. "Sowa," Olette said, pronouncing Sora's name in a cute, stuffy-nosed four-year-old way. "I have to go pee-pee."

Sora lightly smacked his head against the wall purposely. "Alright...let's go upstairs to the toilet then," he grunted. Then he turned to Kairi and explained, "She's afraid of going to the bathroom by herself. You can go ahead and call your mom and leave. Sorry about Riku." Then he hurried up the stairs with Olette, 'cause when a kid's got to go, they've got to go _now_.

Oh, yeah. Kairi blinked a few times. She'd completely forgotten about calling home for a ride. She still had the cell phone in her hands. But...it didn't feel right leaving Sora to handle this on his own. Plus, he wasn't being his typical jerkwad self at the moment (probably for Olette's well-being), so she could actually cope with him right now without wanting to punch his teeth out.

"Wait," she called to Sora, who was already halfway up the stairs. "I'll clean up the elephant thing. Where's the broom and dustpan?"

Sora threw her an astonished look, as if he was saying, _seriously? _You_ are going to help _me_?!_ He replied hesitantly, "Um...in the kitchen beside the trashcan."

So Kairi set to work. As she cleaned up the little glass shards, her mind drifted back to Riku. He was planning something, she was sure of it. She just didn't know what that 'something' was. Her brain raced through imaginary scenarios. Maybe he was just a sadistic person, and he loved torturing them? No, he was a butthead, but he wasn't _that_ bad.

She knew one thing for certain, though--it wasn't a coincidence that he was pairing Sora and herself together constantly. And whatever he was trying to cover up, she would figure out. She wasn't going to allow him to mess around with her. She'd dealt with Sora enough already to last a lifetime, and she barely knew him.

Pulling her from her thoughts was a cry from Sora upstairs. "No, Olette! Don't flush that down the--" Pause. "I'll get the toilet plunger."

Kairi started to chuckle under her breath. He was so hopeless. No wonder they could never get along... Wait....

She suddenly recalled something her teacher had told her in elementary school. She'd been crying from a scraped knee that a boy had given her when he unexpectedly pushed her over. She had tattled to the teacher, who patted her head and sympathized with her like any good role model would. Then she'd added with a wink, "Y'know, boys only act mean to girls that they _really_ like. They just don't know how to treat girls, so they act rough around them."

Was that why Sora...? No way, it was preposterous to even consider. Boys acted like that in grade school, not when they were teenagers. Sora honestly despised her, and vice versa.

Still, her mind was formulating an idea of its own. What if Sora _had_ known she was coming over today, and had just lied to her about it? What if...he was just acting rude in front of her all this time because he... _No._ It was crazy. Not a chance.

But it made sense. Riku and Sora could have been planning this the whole time because Sora was too shy to confront her himself....

Ugh! _Get a grip, Kai._ She shook her head and conked herself on the head with her palm. It was a loony idea, but just in case, Kairi would make it extra clear to Sora that she didn't like him. That way, if he did have any feelings for her--which was practically impossible!--he'd get the message and leave her alone. Hopefully.

She supposed she's stay at Riku's just to make sure she rejected him thoroughly. Then the whole mess would be cleared up, and her life could go back to normal. Hanging out with friends, going to study groups, watching Disney movies... No more detentions and annoying confrontations with Sora. Yes, she would get through to him no matter what it took.

* * *

A/N: Uh-oh, looks like Kairi got the wrong idea here. But hey, they didn't argue at all in this chapter--that's a first! ^_^; Review please!!

I had so much fun writing about Sora being a babysitter. I baby-sit often, too (a two-year-old named Rachel), so I took some of the ideas for this story from my own personal experiences. When Olette broke the glass elephant? Yeah, I got 'inspiration' for that from one time when I took my eyes off Rachel for two seconds, and CRASH! She broke a cup. *sigh* And she loves Disney movies, but even more than those, she loves Shrek. She watched that movie seven times in one day. -_- And every time she comes over, she says, "Let's watch ogre!" *sobs* I hate that movie now with a bloody passion. (Er, sorry for rambling. =P)


	8. Blames and KoolAid

Dishhhclaimer: This isn't Burger King; I can't have it my way. No Kingdom Hearts for me.

A/N: I had to watch part of Aladdin to help me write this chapter. lol. You'll see what I mean.

I was delaying writing this, but I didn't want to make everybody wait _too_ long, so I drafted it all today, along with part of the second chapter. Phew. Can't believe I managed the whole thing without driving myself crazy. X)

* * *

Sora was sitting on the couch with his foot propped up, and little Olette was sprawled out in his lap. They were munching on popcorn and staring at the television screen with avid interest, occasionally quoting some of their favorite lines in the movie. _Aladdin _was exceedingly entertaining for them.

Kairi was leaning back in a nearby seat, being strangely quiet for some reason. She had stolen a few quick glances at Sora, and it was quite annoying. If she wanted to say something, then say it, dammit! He could never understand what was on that girl's mind.

"I want more juice," Olette said, holding up her cup.

Darn it, she wanted juice _now_? They were just getting to the part of the movie with the Prince Ali song! Oh, well, his babysitting duties beckoned. He'd already seen that scene five zillion times, anyway, and he knew practically all the words to the song. (He really needed to get new hobbies.)

"Okay." Sora slid her off of his lap and stood up, stretching. "I'll have to make more Kool-Aid. I'll be back in a minute."

He expected Kairi to stay behind and watch the little tyke, but instead, she followed him into the kitchen. What was _with_ her odd behavior? Maybe he was just imagining it.

Ignoring her, he pulled some Kool-Aid packets out of the cupboard. Hm, what flavor should he make? Tropical punch? Orange? Lemonade? He settled on blue raspberry, as that was his favorite Icee flavor, and pulled out the container he was going to make it in. (He knew where everything in the house was, not surprisingly, since he'd visited Riku here since they were Olette's age.) He was typically bad at cooking and sewing and all that housework stuff, but making Kool-Aid was a cinch. Even _he _couldn't mess it up...too badly.

Kairi suddenly spoke up. "You're good with kids," she remarked quietly.

Sora jumped when he heard her voice. "Huh?" Okay, now she was _complementing _him?? What the hell?!

She didn't answer his exclamation, if it could even count as a question. Sora pulled the sugar out of the cabinet and thought about her strange actions. She was being really spontaneous today, harder to read than usual. There was no way he was over-thinking it; something was definitely wrong. But what exactly could be bothering her, he hadn't the faintest. She was incomprehensible enough _without_ acting all weird like this.

Changing the subject in a flash, Kairi randomly queried, "Why does Riku keep setting us up together?" She was biting her lip as if wondering if she should have said that.

Sora stared. He wasn't exactly sure if he'd heard everything she said, but it sounded like she was accusing him. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't bother playing dumb about it."

"I'm not playing dumb! What the he..."—he once again stifled his cussword—"What are you talking about, Kairi?"

Riku? Setting them up? Riku was his best friend, so why would he do something like that? It made absolutely zero sense. Kairi was obviously going crazy. Sure, they'd seen a lot of each other lately, but it was all coincidence. Riku couldn't have anything to do with their encounters.... So _this _was what had been on her mind. She had to be kidding herself.

"Sora, I already told you, stop pretending you don't know about i—what are you _doing_?!" Mid-sentence, she let out a shriek.

Sora raised his eyebrow, puzzled. "Um, adding sugar. You know, that sweetener of tiny particles that makes Kool-Aid so yummy and delectable." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"B-but that's way too much! You're going to put Olette on a sugar high or clog her arteries or—"

Sora snickered. "Dude, she's a kid. She won't drink it if it's not mega sweet." He decided to overlook the fact that sugar didn't clog people's arteries.

True, he was adding an awfully large amount of sugar, way more than what was recommended on the package, but that was the way he always made it. Heck, even his parents had sugar-loaded the drink when he was a child. First Kairi was a spastic goody two-shoes, and now she was a health freak. _Greeeat_.

"Whatever." Kairi dropped the subject. "Anyway, back to what I was saying before..."

"What? About Riku?"

"Yes! I swear, he's..."

Sora turned the faucet to fill the container with water, and the loud gushing stream of liquid drowned out Kairi's voice. "What?" he asked loudly.

"I said, Riku's trying to wear a new sweater!"

Huh? Sora turned the water off, browsed through the silverware drawer until he came upon a large wooden spoon, and began stirring the blue concoction. Then he gazed at Kairi, perplexed. A sweater?

"What did you say?" he asked again. He couldn't have heard her correctly.

Kairi sighed with annoyance. She apparently didn't like having to repeat herself. "I said," she reiterated, "Riku's trying to get us together."

Oh, so that's what she'd— Wait a minute. Sora stopped stirring in utter surprise. That couldn't be true. Sure, he'd accidentally hired them both to baby-sit, but that didn't automatically mean he was up to something. Besides, he wouldn't have anything to gain by pairing the two of them up. Kairi was full of kooky ideas.

"Trying to get us together? Yeah, right." He shot down her statement instantly. Riku knew he couldn't stand Kairi, and vice versa (although they were getting along a bit better today, for Olette's sake). That was a stupid assumption. And he'd thought Kairi was smart.

"I'm serious! And you have something to do with it, which is why you're covering it up." What was this girl babbling about?

Sora had completely neglected his Kool-Aid duties now. "Yeah, sure," he said, his voice sardonic, "because you and me are the _best_ of friends. We just _love_ seeing each other's faces."

Kairi's anger switch had just been flipped on. "Quit lying!"

"I'm not!"

"Just admit you like me already!!"

"I _what_?!!"

Just as the argument was spiraling out of control, Olette came into the kitchen, wide-eyed and teary. She was clutching her baby blanket to her chest, and it was dragging on the floor behind her. Her adorable, big eyes were staring up at them, and her bottom lip was sticking out—a four-year-old's greatest weapon: the puppy dog look. Sora felt himself crumbling under her pitying gaze.

"You are fighting, Sowa?" she said with a sniffle.

"Oh, geez..." Sora rubbed his temples and prepared a lie—uh, explanation—for her. "Olette, don't worry. We weren't arguing. We were just...quoting our favorite part of _Aladdin_! Um...yeah." He was bad at thinking in a hurry.

Olette didn't seem convinced, so Sora attempted to demonstrate. Unfortunately, the only scene that came to his mind was the romantic balcony chat between Aladdin and Jasmine.

"Uh, Princess Jasmine, you're very...punctual," he said, mimicking the hero's voice.

Then it occurred to him—_he_ may know all of the lines, but _Kairi_ probably didn't have a clue! Oh, crud. And Olette, having seen the movie a dozen times, would notice.

But amazingly enough, she came in right on cue. "Punctual?" she questioned. Oh, right, he'd forgotten how Disney obsessed she was, too.

He was so glad she was playing along! "Uh, beautiful," he said hurriedly, completely absorbed in the role playing now. Olette's frown was slowly shifting.

"Hm, I'm rich too, you know," Kairi continued, not faltering in the slightest. She was performing the lines flawlessly.

"Yeah..."

"The daughter of a may—uh, I mean, sultan." Okay, almost flawlessly.

"I know." They were doing really well with this! Olette seemed to have completely forgotten about the fight. She was giggling and clapping, saying, "More, more!" with fervor.

And for the first time, Sora had to say that Kairi was pretty amazing.

"A fine prize for any prince to marry." Kairi moved towards him, just as Jasmine did in the actual movie.

"Uh, right..." Sora replied, feigning nervousness. "A-a prince like me."

"Riiight. A prince like you." Was it just him, or was Kairi getting _too_ into this? She was moving dangerously close to him now, and she tapped her finger on his nose with a strange smile.

And then she shoved him against the counter. "And every other stuffed shirt, hell-raising idiot who's scheming with Riku!" she screeched angrily. _This _was no longer acting. She tried to push him again, but tripped in the process, which successfully knocked Sora to the ground...but unfortunately, brought her down on top of him.

"Um, that's not right," Olette said in confusion. "Can I have juice now?"

Sora grumbled and started to get up, accidentally bumping foreheads with Kairi. Now, if this were some romantic scene just like the one in _Aladdin_, they'd start making out or something mushy like that, muttering lovey-dovey stuff in each other's ears. Luckily, that wasn't the case. Who would kiss a she-demon? He didn't like Kairi at all.

Okay, so he was blushing a little bit. But that was only because her chest was pressed against his, not because it was Kairi.

"Hold on," Sora mumbled, rubbing his head as Kairi got off of him, clearly embarrassed. "I'll pour you some more Kool-Aid. Just give me sec."

* * *

Oh, man! She hadn't meant to fall on top of him. Sheesh, her klutziness got her in so much trouble sometimes. She felt like an absolute moron, but at least she'd made her point.

Once Olette had her Kool-Aid and was comfortably watching _Aladdin_ on the couch, Sora indicated for her to come back into the kitchen. Kairi supposed that he wanted to finish their argument where they'd left off, just a teeny bit quieter this time.

She obeyed his request, sneaking out of the room, and Olette was none the wiser. Hopefully the juice-loving kid wouldn't wander off and break something again while they were leaving her unattended.

Sora got straight to the point once she successfully approached him. "What's this Riku business?" he asked bluntly.

Kairi studied him for a bit as she considered the situation. Sora really _did_ seem like he knew nothing about the scheming. Either he was a really good actor, or he was being dead-honest. That probably meant Kairi was wrong, and that he didn't have a crush on her. Then what was Riku's motive? She was starting to lose her suspicions about Sora, but Riku was still planning something. She just knew it.

"Riku's been setting us up," she said. She excluded including Sora in the 'blame category' this time.

Sora shook his head. "No way." This time, he made sure not to shout. They didn't want to capture Olette's attention again.

Kairi had to get through to him somehow. He didn't want to doubt Riku because he was a friend, but Kairi didn't have that bias. She was certain that he was the cause of the recent chaos in her life...she just wasn't sure _why_.

"Sora, he's made sure we were together several times now. Waaay too many for it to be a coincidence."

The dense idiot actually looked like he was considering her words. Wow, he was listening to her. That was a first. "Why would he do that?" Sora asked, still skeptical.

"I...I don't know," Kairi admitted hesitantly. She was wondering that herself.

She was pondering the dilemma when suddenly, her cell phone rang. "I, um, should probably answer it," she said awkwardly.

Without saying a word, Sora went back in the living room. He returned seconds later, though, when a four-year-old voice squeaked, "I want another sandwich, Sowa."

"Already?!"

Kairi ignored their presence. "Hello?" she said into the phone.

"Hi, Kai!"

Kairi would recognize that voice anywhere—it was her Aunt Yuffie, a woman who was peppy and energetic to a fault. And she loved to chat. She hadn't called in a while, though. And now wasn't exactly a good time for petty conversing.

"Hi, Yuffie." Her talkative relative detested being called an 'aunt', claiming it made her sound old. So, to honor her request (and avoid groundless whining), Kairi simply referred to her as Yuffie.

"Boy, do I have news for you," her aunt announced cheerfully. "You've got yourself a date."

"_What_?!" Kairi hadn't meant to speak so loudly, but it was hard not to when she heard something like _that_. Sora and Olette both looked up at her as they removed the crust from a PB&J sandwich.

Kairi knew 'bad', and this was a perfect example of it.

* * *

A/N: Cliffy! Yay! I put another FF character in this chapter, and there'll be yet another in the next one. *hint hint* So, has Riku been figured out? We'll see. X]

Reviews are much appreciated, as well as guesses on who Kairi might have to go on a date with. =)


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